Here’s why you should pick a stack of them up whilst you're foraging for pork scratchings and live marginally longer than your coasterless peers:
1. Fire Starters for the Impatient
Beer mats are basically tiny squares of flammable optimism. Shove one under your kindling and light, they’ll catch fast and burn just long enough to ignite something more substantial. Just ignore the faint smell of stale lager wafting through your camp.
2. Tiny Signposts for the Easily Lost
When you’re scouting ahead or navigating ruins, leave a trail of beer mats to find your way back. You can even draw arrows or messages on them: “This way →” or “Definitely not full of mutant rats.”
3. Emergency Foot Padding
Got a hole in your shoe? Slide a beer mat in there. Sure, it’s not orthopaedic-grade comfort, but it beats walking barefoot on radioactive gravel. Bonus: they absorb both sweat and tears.
4. Makeshift Playing Cards
Morale matters. And when you’re trapped in a damp shelter with three strangers and an unspoken sense of doom, a game of improvised blackjack can stave off existential dread for at least 20 minutes. Just agree beforehand on what counts as an ace.
5. Miniature Food Prep Surfaces
Need to slice a squirrel kidney but don’t fancy doing it on the dirt? Beer mat. Hygiene is relative after the fall, but every little helps.
6. Slow, Questionable Water Filtration
Stack a few beer mats, pour water through, and watch as… well, eventually, a drop or two emerges. It will not remove bacteria, parasites, or the vague taste of despair, but it will take out some visible gunk and help avoid too much grit in your teetch. Think of it as the “arts-and-crafts” stage before actual purification.
7. Currency for the Culturally Nostalgic
In a barter economy, anything recognisably from Before can fetch a decent trade. A pristine beer mat might get you a swig of actual beer, or at least something that smells like it.
So next time you find yourself in the ruins of The Winchester, don’t just pocket the bottle opener. Take the beer mats. They’re light, stackable, and quietly heroic, just like you’ll have to be if you want to make it through another Tuesday.